DIWALI, FESTIVAL OF LIGHTS

Today my mind wanders   back to those days - my childhood days - the way my parents, no, my mother made preparations for this festive occasion. My father was a non - interfering person in the matter of running the household or how the festivals and other functions in our home were conducted. He left all these responsibilities to my mother. My mother was a very capable lady - a good cook a very cautious spender and one who believed in tradition and customs. We were a big family- four daughters and three sons. There used to be at least one or two cousins staying with us, either studying or on the lookout for proper jobs. Even with such a big family my mother was always particular that all festivals and functions like birthdays of each and every member of the family were conducted in the proper way. 

Diwali meant getting a new set of pavadai  (full skirt) and blouse  some times it turned out to be two sets for the younger  girls  and a pair of half pants and shirt for my two younger  brothers. Today’s youngsters and children will find it very difficult to believe that in those days everyone had only three or four sets of clothes. New clothes were bought only for Diwali and for birthdays. Also it meant lots of patakas and my mother’s Diwali special sweet. The grownups were given the freedom to buy what they needed or wanted. Word would be sent over to our tailor to come home as quickly as possible to take the measurements of every one of us, to find out how much material would be needed. We youngsters used to feel so important and full of pride when the tailor - yes I still remember his name, Hariharan - took our measurements. It was either my eldest sister or my big brother who shopped for the materials needed the same day. Next day the tailor was again called home to collect the materials. He would be given a deadline - a maximum of four days, to bring home the finished products. If by any chance this was delayed there would be a cut in his wages. Maybe he did not want a cut in his hard-earned wages. He was very prompt in delivering the goods. We  youngsters would be so anxious to wear and try our new  clothes, but our mother was very particular that the new clothes that we could wear them only after GANGA SNANAM—the ritual early morning bath on Diwali day.

Diwali meant a  lot of patakas- fireworks. In those days there was no ‘Made in Sivakasi’ fireworks. India was under the British rule and so belonged to the Commonwealth group of countries. India as a country did not manufacture anything. There were no industries, even our school notebooks, pencils, erasers - all of them were imported. As I said to someone the other day, we all grew up with foreign cars, French perfumes like Evening in Paris, Italian soaps, Swiss chocolates, Waterman and Parker fountain pens  and of course British authority.

So for Diwali we turned to China, the one country that really gave us the best crackers. Even today my feeling is they top the list.  Two days before Diwali my elder brother or my eldest Athimbar took the responsibility of buying the patakas while we youngsters  waited for them to come back home with the patakas.  I remember vividly one Diwali time of those days - my brother coming back from the market empty handed with the news that all the patakas were sold out by the time he reached the shop! Were we disappointed? Yes, to the pit of our stomachs. We ran to our mother for comfort and more for complaining. My mother led us back to the front veranda all the time smiling to herself. Then we knew that our brother was simply teasing us. A coolie was there with a big basket on his head and my brother helping him to unload the basket which was packed with all kinds of fireworks. Our joy was also brimming to the top of our hearts. No one will believe me today if I tell you that the whole basket full of patakas cost my brother only Rs. Five!!

The day before Diwali my mother would be very, very busy making the dough for iddli - a must in the Diwali day breakfast menu, the grinding too to be done manually. The sweet prepared in every household in our parents’ families on this occasion was OKKARAI* - laddus and jangiris were made only for weddings in the olden days Also there were no shops preparing and selling these items.

Come Diwali morning, my mother was the first to have her bath by three a.m. after which she would be busy waking up all children, apply oil on our head and giving us a quick bath. Then only we were allowed to wear our new clothes after which we were made to touch our parent’s feet to get their blessings. Then came the interesting  part of the day, bursting the patakas.

By seven in the morning breakfast also was served--- iddlis with coconut chutney (freshly ground on the grinding stone), paruppu (thuvar dal)vadai and the sweet Okkarai

Looking back I really wonder how my mother and many like her managed all this single-handed.

Today with all the modern gadgets and help from many sources life is much easier for the lady of the house. Ready-made clothes, sweets, why even ready-made iddli dough are all available in the market.  But there is one shortage in many households! And that is TIME. Precious time with women too working, working as hard as any man! Added to that in most families she is the one to do the shopping, cooking and taking care of the children’s needs. Blessed are the women  when the men understand the women’s problems and give them a helping hand.

HAPPY DIWALI

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*RECIPE for OKKARAI

One measure thuvar dal

Equal measure of jaggery

Equal measure of grated coconut

Two tablespoons of ghee

Cook the thuvar dal  in the pressure cooker. wait for one whistle, turn the gas low for 15 minutes. wait till the cooker is  well cooled and then only open it.   Grind the coconut well in the grinder then add the cooked dal and run the grinder for ten seconds. Melt the jaggery in a cup of water and strain to remove all the impurities. Boil the jaggery syrup, when it thickens add the dal coconut paste. Lower the flame and allow the mixture to thicken all the while stirring with a flat ladle. Add two table spoonfuls of ghee. Go on stirring till the mixture gets dry and turns to be powdery. Allow it to cool before serving. This sweet usually stays fresh for nearly a week.

    

THE FOUR DAY WEDDING

Continued from previous post

The feast (lunch) after the muhurtham used to be a grand one with everyone fed with various kinds of vegetable dishes, sweets and pradhaman (sometimes two) till everyone was fully satiated.

Artist Maya's representation of 'nalangu'

Afternoon was the time for relaxation and play - this came in the form of nalangu, where everyone teased one another with songs, all the while the bride and the groom sitting on a 'pattu payi’ a mat woven with a special soft reed, facing each other rolling a coconut to one another. For the nalangu, the bride had to invite the groom with a song and a namaskaram to play with her. Otherwise the bridegroom’s male relations would not allow him to budge. Once they were seated on the mat, they applied sandal paste on each other’ arms and feet, combed each other’s hair, applied pottu and showed the mirror to each other to admire their handiwork. The singing session went on until everyone got tired, and then arathi was performed

For the next three afternoons also there used to be nalungu with new songs composed on the spot. I remember lines from a couple of songs - like the son-in-law brushing his teeth with coffee, and the daughter using lime and rice flour to make up her face.

In the evening usually there used to be music concerts or harikatha kalapshekam, or dance performances known as 'sadir' , by well known dancers from Kumbakonam or Thanjavur. Most well-known musicians of those days used to sing at the marriage concerts and that is how they became famous.

In the evening another homam was conducted by the newly wed couple with the help of the priest. During this homam, they were led outside by the priest and shown the star Arundati, who is said to be the ideal wife in devotion and steadfastness. And were advised to lead a happy and compatible life like the couple up there.

After this homam, known as ‘pravesam homam’ and dinner, the first day of the wedding came to an end. For the next three days the morning homam called ‘auhvasanam,’ ‘nalungu’ and the evening homam were conducted regularly.

On the fourth evening, another feast was prepared for the bridegroom’s people with individual oil lamps placed in front of each place. During this meal also there was much rejoicing and teasing, sometimes to the extent of wasting food. But everyone used to be happy and satisfied. After this dinner the newly wedded couple were taken around the locality in a procession by foot, accompanied by the nagaswaram
This was called ‘patina pravesam’

While walking through the main streets of the neighbourhood, relatives welcomed them with arathi and offered them banana pieces soaked in milk. Gradually changes came here also. The couple was carried in open flower-decked palanquins, instead of walking. My eldest sister and her husband, when they got married in 1926 , were the first and only couple in our family to have the palanquin ride. My mother told me that my sister being so petite and lovely (she was 12 then) was herself like a palanquin doll. The palanquin used to have extremely pretty celluloid dolls at each corner.

When my elder sister Sarada got married in 1937, the ‘patina pravesam’ was conducted in a well-decorated open motor car. The other day when I asked her if she remembered the ‘pattina pravesam’ at her wedding, she told me that all she remembered was nodding off every five minutes or so , and her husband waking her up requesting her not to sleep.

My sister Sarada with her husband in the 1950s

My sister-in-law Vijayam, sister Rama, me and
my eldest sister Krishnambal in the 1950s

My third sister Rama remembers that her ‘pattina pravesam’ in the car was interrupted by rain and had to be given up. This practice of ‘pattina pravesam’ was given up before my wedding in 1945, which was incidentally a one-day wedding. Four day weddings were out by then.

On the fifth morning the last homam was conducted by the couple - this was the ‘sesha’ homam. After this homam, every single uncle and aunt was treated to return gifts, that is they would be given the amount they had presented to the bride and groom, plus one panam, that is one-seventh of a rupee.

Finally came the aseervadams and namaskaram, followed by arathi. After a simple meal, unlike the previous five days, the bridegroom’s party readied themselves for the return journey. They were supplied with fruits along with food to last them for the next two days, known as ‘kattu chatham’, prepared in such a manner that it would remain fresh for the period of the journey. Along with this, other provisions like rice, vegetables, coffee powder were also packed for the journey.

The bride was left behind, she would join her husband after a year or two, when she attained maturity. Another function called ‘griha pravesam’, would be held at the bridegroom’s place for this.

The bride, a mere child of eight or nine, went back to her wooden doll and playthings till then.

Concuded.